At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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