OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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