Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
