I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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