Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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