Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
