do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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