I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
