the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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