His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this just has baby written all over it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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