There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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