I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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