you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
