you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
