You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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