I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Are my feet made of real feet?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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