There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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