I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
