Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
