first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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