yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
