ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
