Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he just fucked me for my cheese..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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