planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
