you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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