Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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