He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
