hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
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You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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