More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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