For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
