so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
