:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
