"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
