My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
