the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
