@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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