While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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