I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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