Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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