Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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