Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
