i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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