You work out of a Hotel?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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