Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
