I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
