pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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