Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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