you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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