Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
