I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
