I should be sponsored by Trojan
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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