my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
