worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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