ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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