i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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