My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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