Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
