at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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