i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Where did you get a picture of my penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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