i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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