2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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